Katryn Lendvay, Class of 2018

It never actually feels like healing.


You get one wound, another, the cycle unending

You stand up, you face it, your false will unbending.


How is there so much of me, but somehow I’m still not enough?


My heart is too big for its cage inside

My unconditional trust should’ve already died

I hate what I’ve gone through less than I love them

But hey, I can multitask.


No one needs to know. Seriously. Whatever you feel just isn’t a big deal.


Make all of your problems mine,


(So I don’t have to carry my own)

I just don’t want you to feel alone.


There’s a fear in your eyes that can’t be misplaced

And a sadness that coats the directions you’ve faced

It hurts me just like it hurts you. Trust me. I know.


Goodbyes are hard, so I don’t say them.

Feelings are hard, so I don’t betray them.

Laughter is pure, but darkened this day.

And this isn’t a question I can just wave away.

For one day,


We were on a different plane of existence. But then that day ended.


Hope is in the eyes of the beholder, it’s true,

And there’s anything but emptiness trapped inside this view.

A Savior?

The Messiah?

Or just another human being?

A hero?

No, a martyr?

Or is this all just a dream?


You get stitches in few

To tear open anew.


It never actually feels like healing.


The pain in your eyes isn’t quick to fade

And the scars are slow, sometimes painfully made.


Sometimes, it actually feels worse.


But the gashes close up

And it might be enough.


Your soul is reborn

And you’ve no need to mourn.


You’ll only know you’ve healed when it’s over.